Polygamy and Human Rights Violations

                              Polygamy and Human Rights Violations

By  Rebecca Kimbel   Mscd   CEO   DTM

Polygamy based on religion has a built in “cultural” requirement for acceptance of God, husbands and family. Women who do not “choose” to comply are shunned by their religious group, disowned by their families and damned by their God. Some become victims to “blood atonement” and “honor killings”, condoned by the “God given” rights of husbands.

Choices in cultures of coercion are not choices. They are violations of human rights. Those who violate human rights assume they are “better” than others. They elevate themselves “higher” to make others “lower.” Those “higher” make the decisions and issue the orders and expect those “lower” to obey.

The “higher” one creates two standards, one for them and one for “lower” lesser human beings. Rules they force others to live by are harsh and strict, and don’t apply to them. They take liberties and pleasures they would never allow the “lower ones.” They demand a full accounting of what “lesser ones” do  and where they are, but where the “higher one” is and what he does is none of their business. These are the hallmarks of a polygamist husband’s relationship with his wives.

In polygamy the infidelity of polygamist husbands is not called infidelity. It is called a “test from God” (for wives). Multiple partners take him to Godhood, but if she is disloyal to him, she “shall be destroyed.” Her constantly dwindling personal relationship with him is her religious duty.

I am a product of polygamy, as were my parents. As a polygamist wife, my mother’s sorrowful countenance overshadowed her verbal support of polygamy. Consequently, my father visited less and less, until there were years at a time we never saw him. He blamed mother for her joyless empty life, our poverty and even his refusal to visit his children, yet he owned, overshadowed and controlled every aspect of her life. Like all FLDS women of obedience, mother spoke the praises of polygamist love and joy, and wept alone at night because her God hated her enough to make her a woman. Mother’s polygamist life is typical.

FLDS traditional dress requires women cover everything except their head and their hands. Unlike Muslim women, they are not required to cover their heads. Obedience and control of women is absolute in religious polygamy.  Sexual pleasure for women is preached against and forbidden. FLDS Polygamists tell women sex is only for procreation; and, of course, there is always a woman somewhere who isn’t pregnant, so men have the joy of “God’s work” elsewhere. Muslims resort to female genital manipulation; by cutting off a woman’s clitoris to be sure she never experiences sexual pleasure.

The psychological and emotional needs of women are not called needs; they are called “weaknesses to over come.”  Mental and emotional abuse is not called abuse; they are called “marriage.”

If a polygamist husband were forced to experience the pain his behavior inflicts on his wives, he couldn’t cope with it. His wives not only have to cope with it, they must, and they must act and speak as if they love it or suffer heavy consequences. Negative emotion on the part of women is considered evil and results in verbal, emotional and often physical abuse.

The same social pressures that got these women into polygamist marriages also force them to hide their painful devastation when their husband beds other women. Over time women learn to with draw their emotional feelings from their husband as a means of coping. Anguish can only burn so long before it turns to ashes.

The more wives he takes, the more he ignores her. As she ages, he seeks younger women and her already low self esteem plummets. Many polygamist women look forward to death as liberation from their empty marriages, but the “eternal life” they have obediently subordinated themselves for, is taught to be an extension of the same life they now endure, except they will be “crowned Goddesses while they “ obey without question and repeat the same slavery and endless childbearing. This realization puts numerous mothers of many children into a real struggle with depression.

If you want to know how polygamist women feel, realize how you would feel if your mate brings someone home to have sex with. The truth lies in your own emotions.

Polygamist women can’t protect their children. They can’t protect themselves. They can never be free, unless they break their dependence on that which enslaves them, and very few do.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. sorry but you’re perception towards polygamy is twisted and comes from you’re own stupid and twisted life. who are you to judge on the laws set by god. if you’re father wasn’t faith full to you’re mom that doesn’t mean that polygamy is bad my father is a polygamist being a polygamist didn’t stop him from visiting us or giving us our financial needs. or being a loving father. you need to know a couple of things about the rules of polygamy before misjudging it Islam has set for us laws and regulations for every matter of life. From praying, to eating, to the way you treat you’re parents with respect, the relationship built with one’s neighbors, the dividing of the inheritance among the family members, recitals that some one should read before sleeping, the rules of marriage, the sports some one should teach his children like swimming, horse back riding, and shooting. Polygyny is not an exception god has given us rules that are the basis of polygyny and if some one isn’t able to comprehend with those rules should just stick to one companion. A critical matter, which people misunderstand, they think that polygyny is a way of having sex with more than one woman at the same time that is a wrong perception of polygyny. A polygamous person can only have sex with each one of his wives alone. The husband should provide sleeping quarters for all of his wives. The sleeping quarters should be parallel in size and quality of furnishing. The basic rule of polygyny is being fair with all of you’re spouses. If someone were to bring to one of his wives a Rolls Royce he cant bring for the other wife a Mercedes he should bring a Rolls Royce for all of his wives or a car of equal value. Because if he were to differentiate between his wives that will spark the flames of jealousy and hatred. He should also give equal time to all of his wives if he were to sleep with one of them for three days he should sleep with all of them for three days. The only thing, which some one can’t be fair with, is to whom his heart may lean to. However, without letting any of the wives know whom he truly loves most. According to (ID1507048964 ND) if some one chooses to be polygamous he should be able to support all of his wives financially. since it’s the man’s duty to finance everything in a marriage relationship. In addition, to giving each one of his wives equal amount of materiel possessions other than giving each one of them an equal amount of his time. As well as being fair and kind to them all.
    One should always see the half-cup full rather than the half-cup empty. People always try to find excuses and reasons to try and oppress Islamic laws rather than trying to see the wisdom behind them. Islam has always pushed people to learn. According to the prophet PBUH “ ask for knowledge even if you have to go to china”. Those days china was considered one of the farthest places one could go to that’s just to show the importance of science and knowledge in islam. Because the more one can gain of knowledge and science the more he will realize that Islamic laws are absolute and that even science supports them. Consistent with what (Callaway 19/8/2008) stated that “After accounting for socioeconomic differences, men aged over 60 from 140 countries that practice polygamy to varying degrees lived on average 12% longer than men from 49 mostly monogamous nations”. (Callaway 19/8/2008) correspondingly states that since polygamous men stay sexually active through their grey years it not only helps lengthen their fertility but their life span as well. An additional cause why polygyny is a savior for women according to (Al-Kawthari July/3/2005) it is a well known fact that women outnumber men the reason for that is that men die due to wars, revolutions, ext. so at the present women out number men disregarding the widowed and divorced. Polygyny solves this problem of unmarried, widowed, and divorced women. However, the widowed and divorced are the ones who are really in need of polygyny since they would be at an age where it would be hard for them to marry if not for polygyny. Disregarding the divorced and widowed even unmarried women will have trouble getting married since they outnumber men in most societies. As we apprehend this scenario we see that the only logical solution is polygyny. Another piece of wisdom we can catch is affairs take a toll on people in the US as an example. However in Islamic societies we do not suffer from such problems because it is allowed we can get married to more than one wife so there is no reason to resort to adultery. The more we look deep into the matter the more scientific, and social reasons we find which support polygyny.

    Reply

    • Posted by st0pp0lygamy on May 23, 2012 at 1:02 pm

      You sound like a Muslim extremist male. Of which, I may add, the world has certainly had enough of. No, I am not xenophobic. I know some very responsible and kind Muslim men who would not dream of practicing polygamy. Your research is skewed and incorrect. Please read Dr. Henrich’s research, Dr. Grossbard’s, Dr. Stickevers and then get back to me. I certainly would not want you as a neighbor in Canada. Your attitude stinks and your extremist laws denigrate the position of women.

      Reply

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